İstiyorum

The poem’s setting is abstract, oscillating between inner psychological spaces and natural, metaphysical elements. The speaker discusses the fragility of human existence—caught between the sun and earth, day and night, life and death—while also grappling with the intense emotions that accompany relationships. The world of the poem is infused with paranoia and suspicion, where even natural elements like rain, wind, and birds (swallows) symbolize the speaker’s internal fears and anxieties. The tension between nature and human emotion creates a fragmented, surreal atmosphere where paranoia dominates.

Modernist Turkish Poetry

• Equilibrium: The speaker reflects on their desires, starting from physical needs (a flower, a wing) to spiritual and emotional longings. • Disruption: The speaker’s long list of desires reveals an internal discontent, a sense that something essential is missing from life. • Recognition: The speaker acknowledges their deeper needs—for love, spiritual fulfillment, and emotional connection—that go beyond material or physical desires. • Attempt to repair the damage: The speaker calls for a way to fulfill these desires through love, faith, and connection to a higher power or deeper emotional experiences. • New equilibrium: The speaker reaches a moment of peace by embracing their desires and accepting the journey of seeking fulfillment, particularly through faith and love.

• Longing and Desire: The poem is filled with expressions of intense longing for various things—a flower, wings, a sun, and more. These desires represent the speaker’s deep yearning for fulfillment, whether it be emotional, spiritual, or physical. This sense of longing is a central psychological element, as it reflects the human condition of wanting something more, something beyond the present state. • Search for Meaning and Purpose: The poem also conveys a search for meaning and purpose in life. The speaker desires inspiration (“bir ilham”), faith (“bir iman”), and a structure to build (“bir yapı”). This search for something significant to dedicate oneself to, whether it be a belief, a relationship, or a creative endeavor, reflects the psychological need for purpose and direction in life. • Vulnerability and the Need for Support: The speaker expresses a desire for comfort and support, such as a pair of knees to rest on (“bir çift diz”), a mother to cry for them (“bir ana”), and a lover to share their sorrows (“bir sevgili”). This reflects a deep-seated vulnerability and the psychological need for connection, care, and emotional support, highlighting the importance of relationships in dealing with life’s challenges. • Unfulfilled Desire and Neurosis • The declarations of unfulfilled desire characterizes the speakers neurotic psychology and also implies his/her anxiety for the loss of security. • His/Her aspiration for a variety of objects, including a flower, wings, the sun, and more, are not only images but also signs of his/her intense inner desires for physical, material, spiritual, or emotional satisfaction. • Meaninglessness and Incompleteness • The speaker seeks to find a certain meaning in life and a purpose of existence. S/he relies on “iman-faith)” or “ilham-inspiration”, the former refers to meaningful existence and the latter to beauty of the arts, which would in return be in the service of a purpose in life. • Broken Bond with M(other): His/her ongoing and desperate yearnings for sth better is a performative sign of his/her relentless social insecurity, sheer vulnerability in social contexts and psychological need for empathy, affection and love, as “bir ana”, “bir sevgili” and (“bir çift diz”).

• Satisfaction vs. Unfulfilled Desire • Search for Meaning and Purpose vs. Meaninglessness and Incompleteness • Vulnerability and the Need for Support vs. Broken Bond with Mother